We love that latkes are readily available for Chanukah all across the Twin Cities. The problem: if we’re not making them ourselves, how do we choose which latkes to slather with applesauce and sour cream?
We’ve prepared a latke guide in case you’ve found yourself in a similar dilemma:
Taster 1: These are latke patties. I prefer more of a latke hash.
Taster 2: They’re kind of… mushy.
Taster 3: What’s that taste?
Taster 1: Potato? Oil? That’s what I’m getting.
Taster 3: No… something else. I think it’s pepper.
Taster 2: You’re right!There’s a pleasant peppery punch.
Verdict: Some latke traditionalists might not appreciate the patty texture. Overall, however, they were well liked. And hey — they might inspire your alliteration skills!
Taster 1: YES. These have onions. They win.
Taster 2: But… only SOME bites have onions. I need flavor in every bite.
Taster 3: No, no. The inconsistency gives them a handmade quality.
Taster 1: And these look like traditional latkes. They’re hash brown-y. They automatically win for me with their hash browny-ness.
Verdict: If you can get past inconsistent onion flavor, the hash browny-ness might win you over. Also, these are the cheapest of the traditional latkes.
Whole Foods – Minnetonka
Whole Foods took creative license and served us a spinach and feta latke.
Taster 1: A) this isn’t actually a latke. B) It smells like a penny.
Taster 2: TOO MUCH IRON! Do we have to eat this?
Taster 1: bravely takes a bite. It tastes better than it smells.
Taster 2: bravely takes a bite. No it doesn’t.
After opening the tasting up to more people, we struggle to find someone willing to take a bite.
Taster 2’s husband: That is not a latke.
Potential taster 3: That is not a latke.
Potential taster 4: That is not a latke. Bravely takes a bite. It needs salt. Or parmesan. Or butter. Or cream. Basically it’s flavorless. But I’ll eat it because it seems healthy.
Verdict: It either tastes like a penny or nothing, depending on whom you ask. But no matter which side of the coin you’re on, it’s not a latke. Don’t worry Whole Foods – we still love you and your myriad of cheeses!
Taster 1: YUM.
Taster 2: This is the perfect marriage of Cecil’s patty and Mort’s hash brown.
Taster 3: Agreed. And I appreciate the cranapple sauce — a nice riff on tradition without completely losing sight of the
Verdict: The clear favorite.
Taster 1: This doesn’t look like a latke.
Taster 2: It kind of tastes like a latke… but it looks more like a crepe. Maybe it tastes like a crepe too. My mouth is confused.
Verdict: For a kosher option, Vitali’s is the only way to go. If not, definitely try their crepes (yum!)