Land of 10,000 Latkes

We love that latkes are readily available for Chanukah all across the Twin Cities. The problem: if we’re not making them ourselves, how do we choose which latkes to slather with applesauce and sour cream?

We’ve prepared a latke guide in case you’ve found yourself in a similar dilemma:

Cecil’s Deli

Taster 1: These are latke patties. I prefer more of a latke hash.

Taster 2: They’re kind of… mushy.

Taster 3: What’s that taste?

Taster 1: Potato? Oil? That’s what I’m getting.

Taster 3: No… something else. I think it’s pepper.

Taster 2: You’re right!There’s a pleasant peppery punch.

Verdict: Some latke traditionalists might not appreciate the patty texture. Overall, however, they were well liked. And hey — they might inspire your alliteration skills!

Mort’s Deli

Taster 1: YES. These have onions. They win.

Taster 2: But… only SOME bites have onions. I need flavor in every bite.

Taster 3: No, no. The inconsistency gives them a handmade quality.

Taster 1: And these look like traditional latkes. They’re hash brown-y. They automatically win for me with their hash browny-ness.

Verdict: If you can get past inconsistent onion flavor, the hash browny-ness might win you over. Also, these are the cheapest of the traditional latkes.

 

Whole Foods – Minnetonka

Whole Foods took creative license and served us a spinach and feta latke.

Taster 1: A) this isn’t actually a latke. B) It smells like a penny.

Taster 2: TOO MUCH IRON! Do we have to eat this?

Taster 1: bravely takes a bite. It tastes better than it smells.

Taster 2: bravely takes a bite. No it doesn’t.

After opening the tasting up to more people, we struggle to find someone willing to take a bite.

Taster 2’s husband: That is not a latke.

Potential taster 3: That is not a latke.

Potential taster 4: That is not a latke. Bravely takes a bite. It needs salt. Or parmesan. Or butter. Or cream. Basically it’s flavorless. But I’ll eat it because it seems healthy.

Verdict: It either tastes like a penny or nothing, depending on whom you ask. But no matter which side of the coin you’re on, it’s not a latke. Don’t worry Whole Foods – we still love you and your myriad of cheeses!

Crossroads Deli

Taster 1: YUM.

Taster 2: This is the perfect marriage of Cecil’s patty and Mort’s hash brown.

Taster 3: Agreed. And I appreciate the cranapple sauce — a nice riff on tradition without completely losing sight of the

Verdict: The clear favorite. 

Vitali’s

Taster 1: This doesn’t look like a latke.

Taster 2: It kind of tastes like a latke… but it looks more like a crepe. Maybe it tastes like a crepe too. My mouth is confused.

Verdict: For a kosher option, Vitali’s is the only way to go. If not, definitely try their crepes (yum!)

 

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